Growing up in America as a child of Sudanese immigrants, there was one thing I would frequently hear: “You’re not American, you’re Sudanese.” It always confused me. Why were they mutually exclusive? Couldn’t they coexist as two components of my identity? Of course, I know what their point was. That I wasn’t supposed to act like my peers when I come from a different culture and background. I think this saying is my parents’ way of incorporating the safety net that they grew up with in Sudan. They always had a family member around the corner to look out for them. They lived in a country where everyone had the same beliefs and ideals as them, which gave them a sense of trust within their society. Understandably, moving to a foreign country where everyone treated them differently did not give them the same trust. I understand their fears and concerns, but that clear line they drew between myself and others created a dissonance in my identity. Was it something I was born into? Is my identity more American, or more Sudanese? Is identity something I must find for myself? How do I find it?

Identity is a topic that connects us all. We spend most of our lives trying to understand our personal identities. With the rise of identity politics, interest in the way people describe themselves and others has risen. People are weighed and judged by the labels they put themselves under or are forced under by others. The way we describe ourselves is more important than ever, for better or for worse. As we get closer to the next election, identity plays a large role in defining the candidates. With a nominee who is Indian, Black, and female, Vice President Kamala Harris is under extreme scrutiny, both by people who celebrate her identity and by those who condemn it. With all this discourse around identity, and my own entrance into higher education, I’ve been wondering how to approach this topic with myself and others.

This summer I read two books that helped guide my thinking on identity. The first was Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison. It follows the coming-of-age story of Milkman Dead, a wealthy young Black man in the first half of the 20th century, as he seeks to understand more about his family history and, in turn, himself. Milkman’s story begins in childhood, but we only see him start to grow internally as a man in his 30s. His futile search for gold forces him to reflect on his family and his behavior towards them, going from a shallow manchild only concerned with his own comforts to someone with a deeper understanding of his family and community. The second book that helped me think about identity was Minor Feelings: An Asian American Reckoning by Cathy Park Hong. This book of essays is a memoir that looks at the author’s identity as an Asian American woman and writer from both a personal and a societal lens. Hong discusses pivotal times in her life, alongside a critique of American culture. She was born to two Korean parents in Los Angeles, and we see how her experiences with racism and misogyny shape her identity and, in turn, her writing.

Both books deal with the internal conflict of their protagonists: how their identity is shaped and how they understand themselves. These texts led me to consider the fluidity of identity. Is identity something you are born into? Or something you grow into? I want to examine how we come into our identities and how we understand them. Identity is a dynamic concept that is unique to each person. Parts of it are defined from birth, but a lot of it is found as we grow and change.

Because identity is such a hot topic right now, it is important to consider what the word actually means. When we are born, we are assigned legal identities like race, gender, and even our names. Certain aspects of our identities are also legally protected, such as religion and sexuality. As we grow up and experience different things, we gain informal identities like being a writer or a cook. These formal and informal identities are often conflated, causing misunderstandings in the way we perceive identity. For example, personality is informal, but is a key facet of your whole identity. Another common misconception is about ethnicity and nationality. Contrary to popular belief, they are two different concepts. Your nationality can be entirely different from your ethnicity, like how my ethnicity is Sudanese and my nationality is American. Hong even mentions this in her first essay, stating, “Most Americans know nothing about Asian Americans. They think Chinese is synecdoche for Asians the way Kleenex is for tissues. They don’t understand that we’re this tenuous alliance of many nationalities” (Hong 19). Because ethnicity and nationality are often treated as the most important part of how we describe ourselves, but each person places a different value on the differing parts of their identity, is it beneficial for us to spend time dissecting and understanding our identities?

I would argue that it is beneficial. Identity forms the basis of how we present ourselves. When describing ourselves, most people begin with hobbies, religion, ethnic background, etc. Depending on what they find most important, these signifiers will be at the forefront of their self-proclaimed identity. Whether you start with your hobbies or your race, each descriptor means something different to everybody. Society puts pressure on individuals to put ourselves under labels that are often restrictive and unyielding. This is the result of so-called identity politics, a term that has risen in popularity recently. Encyclopedia Britannica defines it as “political or social activity by or on behalf of a racial, ethnic, cultural, religious, gender, or other group, usually undertaken with the goal of rectifying injustices suffered by group members because of differences or conflicts between their particular identity…and the dominant identity…of a larger society” (Duignan). When a group of people that share an identity come together to solve issues that affect them politically, they are practicing identity politics.

While identity politics can lead to positive outcomes, it can also pose dangers to those in minority groups. A politician could address a minority population to gain their support, therefore using their identity as a means to pander to an oppressed group that might be iffy on their policies. For example, a US Representative from South Carolina recently pledged her support for current candidate Donald Trump and used her identity as a sexual assault survivor as her reasoning (Chatterjee). Her endorsement could lead women who share her identity to also vote for Trump, even though he has been found legally responsible for sexual assault himself and has bragged about policies he enacted that protect the perpetrators of assault (Jones). This pandering makes people think of their identity as a transaction of sorts, where if they are part of a certain group, they’re given special treatment. But this doesn’t mean that things will actually get better for that group. It does mean that minority groups need to be wary of empty promises and do our research before casting a vote.

In Minor Feelings, Cathy Park Hong delves into her personal experiences and how society has shaped them. In her essay “United”she talks about the dissonance between her audience’s perception of what a poet should be, and what she is: “I just don’t look the part” (Hong 7). She initially tries to avoid her Asian identity in her writing, but her experiences help her to realize that because Asians and Asian Americans are so overlooked in the US, she should prioritize that aspect. Hong even subtitles her book An Asian American Reckoning to emphasize how important this part of her identity is. Interestingly, in her writing she sheds the hyphen that typically adjoins “Asian-American”–casting Asian as a modifier of American–instead making them into equal parts. Her audience expects an “Asian-American poet,” so she instead takes on a different label that represents her self-discovery and internal reflection. She embraces her identity as an “Asian American poet.”

Although Toni Morrison does not mention identity explicitly, it is a major theme throughout Song of Solomon. The novel features several characters that remain steadfast in their ideals and don’t change much over the course of the story, juxtaposed alongside characters whose identities do grow and develop. Milkman’s friend Guitar is one of the more static characters. He has a strong sense of justice that drives him to join a group of assassins called The Days who work to “keep the ratio the same” between White and Black people (Morrison 155). He keeps up these righteous ideals from childhood and is adamant about his love for his people. But he is unwilling or unable to change and grow out of his vengeful identity into one that could be more productive. Ultimately greed warps and corrupts him, and he becomes violent over the prospect of Milkman stealing gold to keep for himself–a continuation of the violence he practices with The Days. His identity arguably becomes crueler as the book progresses, but this cruelty can also be seen as a part of his identity into which he simply retreats. He always had the resolve to kill and would act upon it when told to; when he tries to kill Milkman, he is blanketed by this resolve and probably still views himself as righteous for killing someone he sees as selfish.

While Guitar remains more-or-less the same throughout the book, Milkman undergoes the most significant changes to his identity. As he goes on a wild goose chase for gold and explores his family history, he reflects on how he has treated his family, and especially the women in his life. When he finds himself on the cusp of death, he realizes that his wealth means nothing: “His watch and his two hundred dollars would be of no help out here, where all a man had was what he was born with, or had learned to use” (Morrison 277). All the material goods that had made him different from the poorer people in his community, and which he earlier prized as a part of his identity, become meaningless; in that, he finds growth. Milkman was always enchanted by the idea of flight, and by understanding his family history and learning empathy, he learns to fly.

Reading these two books this summer has been enlightening for how we discuss identity and define ourselves. When we begin to understand and describe ourselves, it should not be the label that society gives us, but the label we choose for ourselves, as in Cathy Park Hong’s example. You can be born into several different identities. Your race, ethnicity, and culture are generally decided on by your parents and who you grow up around. But as we get older, we learn more about ourselves and grow into a personal identity. That personal identity is what defines us outside of our shared identities. We cannot allow others to define us, as doing so only stifles our growth. We need fluidity in our identities because we are ever changing and ever growing. This growth must be welcomed and accepted as well. If we are not open to change, much like Guitar, we are in danger of hardening into our worst traits and losing direction in life.

We must each define identity for ourselves. When my parents tell me I’m not American, I know it’s not true. Being American, growing up here and making connections, is an important part of me, just as much as my Sudanese heritage and culture. Aside from that, I am also my own person. I have my hobbies and preferences, and those decide my choices more than any “American influence.” I wear my American and Sudanese heritage with pride, while I continue to learn and understand more about myself. We decide who we are in our society and our place in it. So, how do you define yourself?

Works Cited

Chatterjee, Nandika. “Nancy Mace Says Trump, Found Liable for Sexual Abuse, Will Protect ‘Survivors of Rape.’” Salon, Salon.com, 30 Aug. 2024, www.salon.com/2024/08/30/nancy-mace-says-trump-found-liable-for-abuse-will-protect-survivors-of-rape/. Accessed 31 Aug. 2024.

Duignan, Brian. “Identity Politics.” Encyclopædia Britannica, Encyclopædia Britannica, inc., 16 Aug. 2024, www.britannica.com/topic/identity-politics. Accessed 23 Aug. 2024.

Hong, Cathy Park. Minor Feelings: An Asian American Reckoning. One World, 2021.

Jones, Ja’han. “Trump Boasted about Rolling Back Sexual Assault Rules on College Campuses.” MSNBC, NBCUniversal News Group, 28 May 2024, www.msnbc.com/the-reidout/reidout-blog/trump-sexual-assault-college-campuses-rcna154331. Accessed 31 Aug. 2024.

Morrison, Toni. Song of Solomon. Vintage International, 2019.